I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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