Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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