You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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