Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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no really what are ur names?

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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This is a joke.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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