A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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Error 37.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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