Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops