How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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