Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops