What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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