How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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