Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What do you can a preschool on fire? A very dangerouse situation

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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