What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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How high is the sky? True or False

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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that wall over there ->

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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