How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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