Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops