What's white and horny? A unicorn

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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