How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops