You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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hiya

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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What? Huh?

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Large 4

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops