What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than school...wait a minute?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops