When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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