MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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