Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops