Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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what goes boo a sock

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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