Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops