Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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