Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

lol

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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