whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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