A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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