-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

The other day I was talking to this guy... Nice guy

What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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