what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Yo mamma so fat, she's on a diet and is losing weight at a good, steady rate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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