Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Sad reality is that, you have a tab open just for ponies don't you?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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