Bitch

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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Rebecca Black

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Women's rights

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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