What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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