How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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