Basically

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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