Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

No soup for you!

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...