A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

If you have a stroke, call 000

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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