When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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