A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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A moose walks into a food store. He asks the lady working there where the potatoes are. She says "go down aisle 5.'' he goes down aisle 5 and there arent any potatoes

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops