Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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