What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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