- Anti Joke

LOL

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: Thunder Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

good looking women

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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