What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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So a seal walks into a club.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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