"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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What stops a train? A missile

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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taking out the trash... at night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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