Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What do you call it? Whatever it is.

Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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