mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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