Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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