How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops