Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops