A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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