To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops