How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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i have cancer

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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I love you.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops