The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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Jebron Lames.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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