Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is meant by the term 'Biological control''? Not ending up on the Jeremy Kyle Show.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops