A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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